i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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