he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize