I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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