I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
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He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
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At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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