i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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