we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
