I wish my penis had an off switch
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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