She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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