Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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