We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
