I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
