Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
