I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
