I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
