Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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