and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
