Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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