I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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