How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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