Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
