I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
