i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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