I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
His hands were made for my vagina.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
