Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
