you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
jump out the window naked night went bad
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