come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
