This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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