Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize