I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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