Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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