god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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