Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
