You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We just shotgunned beers for America
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize