does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
