i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
