new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i think i scared a bird with my dick
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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