They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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