I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he was CRYING into my vagina
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
