He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
