nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
