I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
God, you're like boner-b-gone
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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