The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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