I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
