So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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