Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
