She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
