thus making me awesome and them whores
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
