Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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