I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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