i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
