i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
