She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
