i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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