is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
