He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
