this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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