Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
